A Lesson in Fatih

Yesterday our daughter had surgery. I am blessed not only by the outcome but also in that God had revealed His plan for her surgery beforehand and of her ultimate healing. (The particulars of the situation are not my testimony to tell, my daughter Jasmine will have that privilege.) However, when I was faced with the insurmountable pressures during the process of the surgery my faith was indeed tested. I am learning a valuable lesson about faith. I am beginning to understand that the only reason or purpose of my faith is to believe in God.

Let me explain. In the midst of waiting and not knowing the specifics of what was happening during the procedure I began to have numerous calls with numerous questions, all from well wishers of course. As the questions increased and the length of surgery dragged on my soul began to become weary. Although we came into the process with enthusiasm and confidence of the outcome, enduring the unknown and unexpected proved to be something different altogether. I was not wavering in what God has said, but I was beginning to be anxious.

The war was on in my soul. And the question that was looming over me was, has God said? At this point I began considering my faith. Almost like weapon to defend myself against an on slot from the enemy. I pulled out my faith. And asked myself, what do you believe? I began to rehearse to myself what God Himself had shown me. I began to mutter His Word saying; O God, show forth your strength as you have done before and don’t let my enemies have dominion over me and ever other scripture that I could recall at the moment without pulling out my bible. And I was indeed strengthen in my mind. His Word began to anchor my soul. And because His Word is the rock inside me I slowly and surely became still.

After her surgery was over on the ride home I thought about the events of the long day and considered my actions and thoughts of the day. Again, my thoughts turned to faith. In those moments I realized my lesson. God did not and does not need my faith to do what He has promised. He was and is faithful because of who He is. His actions were not because of my faith. He said that when we are faithless, He is still faithful, for He can not deny Himself. My “faith” was not for His benefit but mine! I discerned that the Word of God is NOT activated by my faith, the Word of God is quick and alive without me.

The purpose of my faith is to believe in Him. I know that His Word says “without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” We are pleasing to God when we beleive in  Him and because we believe come to Him.Our reward is that He is God and that He will reveal Himself to those who seek Him!